The planners planned a town to bring in industry and traders,
With ferries on the seafront and arcades for space invaders.
This was to be a working town with all the newest fangles
And just to keep it tidy, all the streets were at right angles.
But trade came slow. It failed to grow. So, twenty six years later,
The folks all racked their brains on how to make their wee place greater.
They sought a vision for the town with business plans more thorough,
And, just to up its status, sought the Charter for a Burgh.
The King gie’d the Charter Royal in Eighteen Hunnerd and Two
When Helen’s town became a Burgh wi’ Crest and Council too.
Wi’ Provost, Town Clerk, Bailies twa, and Councillors by four,
It wisnae quite the jackpot but it opened up a door.
The Charter granted rights to hold four annual fairs and market
So folks would bring their cart to town - and then get charged to park it.
It granted rights to rid the town of dunghills and of prowling
And stick those owners in the stocks whose dugs had been caught fouling.